Hollywood, CA (PRWEB) January 5, 2006
Desperate Housewives is a monster hit TV show, beloved by millions, which nearly single-handedly saved Disney and ABC. But, according to three-time Writers Guild Award winning sitcom and comic screenplay writer Sarit Catz, the show is misleading the American people. Some people are all bent out of shape saying housewives are not in fact desperate and that its a myth. Not me. We ARE desperate. Thats true, says Catz. The myth is that the women on Desperate Housewives are desperate. In fact, theyre not desperate enough.
Having once written and produced hits like Full House, Coach, Soul Man and other series, plus optioning two comic screenplays, Sarit took time out from Hollywood to start a family and a stand-up comedy career. Most of my act is about being a mom. I have two little kids so, believe me, I know desperate. says Catz. She cites ten differences between TVs Desperate Housewives and REAL DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES:
1. Desperate Housewives want the plumber to pull down his pants. REAL DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES want the plumber to pull UP his pants. Hairy crack just isnt that attractive. And would it kill the jerk to show up on time, charge what he said he was going to charge, and actually fix the darn thing?
2. Desperate Housewives have their husband locked in the basement. REAL DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES want to lock themselves in the basement. Or the attic, a storage room, the crawl space anyplace the kids cant find us.
3. Desperate Housewives mow the lawn in evening gowns. REAL DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES havent worn an evening gown since the 90s. When we dress up, its for Halloween. Otherwise its sweatpants and a ponytail which is good since we cant fit into our evening gowns anymore.
4. Desperate Housewives take their kids Ritalin. REAL DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES have our own stash of Xanax, Prozac, Valium, Ativan, Buprenex, Oxycontin, Soma, Hydroxyzine, Ultram, Vicodin, Darvon, Tylenol with Codeine, Percodan, Zoloft, and, of course, several bottles of wine plus the fixings for Cosmos. Alright, I know a little too much about this, dont I?
5. Desperate Housewives burn their neighbors house down. REAL DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES would burn our own house down if it meant we didnt have to clean it. Who wouldnt want to make a giant pile out of all the toys, shoes, laundry, craft supplies, dirty dishes and assorted crap thats lying all over the house, douse the whole thing in lighter fluid and drop a match on that baby?
6. Desperate Housewives have unfortunate mothers-in-law who get hit by a car. REAL DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES are driving.
7. Desperate Housewives are in a relationship with the pharmacist. REAL DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES would like the guy to fill the freaking prescription within the century. Do you know what its like to have a toddler with 102 fever hanging, wheezing and drooling on you while you wait at CVS (which stands for Consumer Victimization Store)? Its not a vacation in Aruba, okay?
8. Desperate Housewives have kids that are nuts, have ADD and are complete brats and everyones sympathetic. REAL DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES have kids that are nuts, have ADD and are complete brats and thats normal. Deal with it yourself, okay? Weve got our own crappy kids.
9. Desperate Housewives have affairs with teenaged boys and may or may not be pregnant by them. REAL DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES dont find young boys attractive. We leave that to creepy teachers like Mary Kay Letourneau. And wed hang ourselves in the laundry room if we found out we were pregnant again.
10. Desperate Housewives worry that nude photos of them are about to be posted on the internet. REAL DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES dont allow nude photos of ourselves to be taken in the first place. Who am I? Pam Anderson? I get scared when I catch sight of myself in the mirror :
getting out of the shower. Do you think Im going to commit something like that to film?
Currently contending for the title of Nick@Nites Funninest Mom in America, Catz is keeping an iron or two in the television fire. She is the Head Writer and a producer of the Bob Gonzo Show, an upcoming sketch/variety show being produced in New Jersey that will be available on the new on-demand cable network, RipeTV, on the internet and in syndication. Sarit has also written a pilot for fellow Garden State comedian Mike Marino which the pair hopes will find a place on the fall 2006 schedule.
About Sarit Catz:
A recognized comedy expert, Sarit Catz began her comedy career in radio, creating, writing and producing three award-winning comedy services for ABC Radio Networks and other nationally syndicated services bringing her jokes, voices, song-parodies, and other bits to every market in the nation, from New Yorks WPLJ to LAs KLOS. Sarit went on to become a television writer/producer with credits that include Coach, Full House, Soul Man, Talk to Me, The Crew, Caf